Merry Sunday, squad! And what a lovely Sunday it is, at least here in Hamburg. Sunny, perhaps a bit brisk, but weāve come to expect as much from that mercurial calendar-chunk March, eh? āI think itās still winterā¦ actually, maybe itās spring; okay, a little snow wonāt hurtā¦ā March just canāt decide, right?!
Wait a second. Itās April!
Damn, when did that happen?! Iām positive that just a couple days ago I was looking at at my book calendar, like the Hamburgian child pictured above, and I read about how it was March. Whatās going onā¦???
Ah. Okay. I just read my book calendar. Umā¦Ā itās April 2nd guys. So, like, April ābut barely. As in: weāre two days into it. As in: yesterday was the first day of the month. As in: yesterday was April 1st.
April 1stā¦Ā hold onā¦ š¤
Okay, this might sound weird, and I might just be having one of those neurological episodes like when youāre at the zoo and you keep saying āpinnipedā over and over ā āpinniped, pinniped, pinnipedā āĀ and it starts to sound like a made-up word or something, butā¦ is April 1st some kind of holiday? Wait, is April 1st Easter?
Ah, no, no āĀ flipped through my book calendar and no, Easter is different. Huh. April 1st isnāt one of those new fake holidays, is it? Like āInternational Bonobo Monkeys Fucking Dayā or whatever?
Hm. A stumper. Well, let us know in the comments if youāre aware of any holidays or even traditions practiced broadly on April 1st. Weād ask Chat, but weāve been temporarily banned for āmonopolizing Bing Chatās time.ā This is going to be annoying until we figure it outā¦
Anyway, April it is, and that means weāre in Deutschlandš©šŖ! Our show in Kƶln two nights ago was a sensational success, and we expect nothing less from Hamburg tonight. Over the next week weāve got Berlin, Leipzig, and Nuremberg, then we push east to Prague, Bratislava, and Vienna, before turning our vanās wheel all the way to the left for the first time on the whole tour, and heading back through Munich, Wiesbaden, and finally Lille, where we will complete this European leg of SHOW LOBES, hopefully fully intact if somewhat bedraggled, because if you come to the end of a tour and find yourself well-rested, that means you didnāt go hard enough. It means you could have carved out an even greater spectacle, but instead you decided to rest your carving arm, and as we all know, Michelangelo did not create the David, or even any of his lesser but still very fine sculptures of seals and otters, by resting his carving arm. Indeed āĀ so the legend goes āĀ even when he napped, Michelangeloās carving arm was a blur of motion, continuing to hone and polish a flipper while his mind visited corners of the globe that his own eyes never beheld, such as the public square two blocks from his studio, or the sea shore, which lay just half a kilometer from his studio.
So come on out to a show. And if you canāt make it this time, well, donāt worry: we plan on being around for a long time yet.
š&š§Ø
NEVER leave us, OK!? šā¤ļø
Youse are MENACES (but we love you anyway) xxx