We're now on Cameo

🎥👨🏻‍🏫🙆🏼‍♂️🎁

The internet is buzzing with rumors that we have joined Cameo; people who believe what they hear are popping champagne and dancing in the streets; doubters are bitterly telling anyone who will listen that no, even though it would be a huge boon to society and a great help to many who are suffering, “Keith and Chris are too proud to put their services on sale for such a low low, low, low price.”

Well, the street dancers should lean into their revelry, and the skeptics should learn to fuckin relax, for we are indeed on Cameo.

People and animals (some of them apparently badly injured?) hit the streets in a festive mood when they heard the correct rumor that we are on Cameo.

Sure, we crave and worship money just like everyone else, but the real reason we’ve joined Cameo is that we wanted to (a) make it easy to get our attention with a video request, and (b) make ourselves accountable for responding to these requests. You see, a fair number of people hit us up with questions like, “It’s my friend’s birthday! Will you send him a video?”, and “My wife and I met at your show in a sex dungeon last year and it’s our anniversary this month! Will you send her a video?”, and “I’m going on vacation alone next week! Will you send me a video I can play at solo dinners to pretend you’re with me in Vladivostok?” But they come through many different channels — Instagram & Twitter DMs, management email, Facebook messenger — and often as not, we see them too late. Other times, and this is embarrassingly common, Chris sees them and makes a mental note to do the video next time he sees Keith, which might be a day or two or sometimes even three later, and then he forgets all about it.

We’re hoping/thinking Cameo will be an easy and intuitive place to send these requests, because lots of other people seem to use it, and also that by having a big countdown timer on our phone screens whenever a request is outstanding — which is what seems to happen — it will be really hard to mess up. We’ve assigned a relatively low price — $50 (£39) — that we hope will not be a financial hurdle for anyone who wants us to make their bird trainer a “do better” message, but if you require our services and can’t afford this amount, hit us up at management<at symbol>wearescientists.com.

A note: you can only book us through the Cameo website, not the Cameo iOS/Android app. This is because bookings that go through the app send 30% of the fee to Apple/Google, and while we aren’t really expecting to make a lot of money from doing videos for people’s grandpas and fiancées, we would prefer that Apple and Android make no money from it. In fact, if there were a way for Apple and Android to pay us for at least the grandpa videos, we’d be interested in that.

We’re in Grimsby tonight at The Docks venue-club, and wow! Darn nice place! Looking forward to this one.

We’ll get a Stoop Chat done in the next 24-48 hours with a doped-up assessment of Week 1 of this summer mini-tour, and coming later this week: the first entry into our reader-selected cover song series, which I (Chris) have already heard, and am rating 4.5/5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌟.

“Take care of your tortoise,” as they say! (Is it “take care of your tortas”? I can never tell what people are mumbling),

The Cast & Crew of Slow Descent Into Radness