34 Comments
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Emily Zafar's avatar

The audacity of you lot making so much as a peep on April Fool’s day after the traumatic events of 2023. Didn’t think I could be so triggered by a Substack notification. Guess I do need to go back to therapy and address all my unresolved issues with the people who raised me (We Are Scientists)

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Emily Zafar's avatar

All jokes aside, thanks for deinfluencing me from the pigeon diet.

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We Are Scientists's avatar

If our suffering, debasement, and ruin can help someone else avoid the same fate, that will be a ray of sunshine in the tempest our lives have become.

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Jason Smith's avatar

The 2 year anniversary of the post that ultimately led me to committing to parting with my money for a subscription.

Is the April fools twist to this is that pigeon is in fact a wonder food?

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We Are Scientists's avatar

F*** around and find out!

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Lou Tilsley's avatar

Did Chris eat significantly more pigeon during this period? No offence, but he seems to have come off a lot worse!

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Jason Smith's avatar

It's a scary picture of Chris (and a dire warning against overindulgence in pigeon).

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Lou Tilsley's avatar

Public service announcement!

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Jason Smith's avatar

I'm now imagining a public service announcement campaign against the dangers of the pigeon diet. Ideally, done in the style of WW2 public service announcement campaign. (Sorry Lou, it's been a long day).

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Lou Tilsley's avatar

😂 No, no. This would be beautiful!

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Hayley Dunlop's avatar

I think he must have been secretly drinking pigeon smoothies as well.

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Jason Smith's avatar

🤢

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Martyn's avatar

I think it’s cos he’s already about 10yrs older than Keith. Isn’t that right Chris?

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We Are Scientists's avatar

I am Keith's father.

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Orbette's avatar

YOU FRICKEN GUYS *wags finger*

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Lauren McGaw's avatar

I have been on guard for *weeks* in anticipation of today. I steeled myself. I was ready for anything, I thought.

I was not ready for pigeons.

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Jason Smith's avatar

No one was ready for pigeons. Or that image of Chris to be fair.

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Gabbie's avatar

"we shouldn’t ask pigeon to do anything booze can’t. "

I mean ... not with that attitude

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Martyn's avatar

That’s a lotta words this early in the morning for an April Fool’s joke guys. But well done. Still doesn’t beat the ‘Spaghetti Tree’ tho.

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Genevieve F's avatar

Keith: "Set that age filter to George Clooney at 70, but not too much, maybe a little less...ah, let's dial it back a bit more."

Chris: "Give me the full F. Murray Abraham death-bed look in Amadeus."

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We Are Scientists's avatar

🤣

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Shelby1970's avatar

Haha this popped up on my phone feed whilst working in the office! Learnt my lesson 2 years ago to never be fooled by a 1 April post from WAS again! But at least this time you observed the 12pm UK deadline for April Fool jokes 😉You’re not getting me this time! (wags finger!). Will read this post properly when I get home but have to say that Chris doesn’t look too well 🤢😆

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Scott Kelsall's avatar

About time you realised you’re flogging that dead horse !! (Happy April Fools)

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Hayley Dunlop's avatar

Shit. SHIT! I've been on the pigeon diet for 37 days. I've even put my kids on it. Should we stop?? Is it too late???? 😭

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We Are Scientists's avatar

At this point you should probably just try to enjoy the ride to the bottom.

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Hayley Dunlop's avatar

Good, as I have a freezer full of Columbidae birds.

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Katarzyna's avatar

Oh my, I think I know what probably happened :s

Dr Lamb or someone from that conference got lost in translation and confused literal pigeon meat with polish cuisine's classic meal called "gołąbki" - which literally means and translates to "little pigeons" or "doves", but in fact correct english name for "gołąbki" is cabbage rolls!

It's meal based on rise or kasha (cooked grains) combined with cabbage and meat based filling (commonly pork/beef - definitely NOT LITERAL PIGEON), all wrapped and cooked in a cabbage leaves. It's really delicious, it goes well with tomato or mushroom sauce, and also there are vegetarian versions without any meat. :)

Well, poor You Guys and poor dr Lamb. If she knew anything about polish/eastern european culture/cuisine, the mistake would've not been made! But maybe the diet based on polish "gołąbkis" would cure you Guys? Maybe it's worth a try (and after succesful recovery optional visit to Cracow/Poland?) ;)

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We Are Scientists's avatar

Only Dr. Lamb could say for sure, and we don't speak to her anymore.

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Billy Smith's avatar

Dammit guys, you're supposed to REMOVE the feathers before eating, who knows what pathogens you ingested.

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We Are Scientists's avatar

After weeks of pigeon meat, to say nothing of months, please believe that the feathers, beak, and claws become sources of wonderful variation.

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Recurring Dream's avatar

Keith still looks pretty good. Chris, on the other hand….

Still that was a good one 😀

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Shelby1970's avatar

My mother was always very adventurous with the meals she put on our table - not just your standard beef, chicken, lamb and pork but also rabbit, game birds, octopus, escargot, frogs legs (🤢) and…..pigeon, I kid you not. I tried most things once and have to say that pigeon did not sit well with me, tasted too much like partridge/pheasant, very strange flavour - a big no! Hopefully I did not ingest enough to have a long lasting effect but you never know 😉😂

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We Are Scientists's avatar

Recommend you speak to your doctor.

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Ashley Jean's avatar

That’s why I eat mourning dove. Very majestic. Helps my singing voice, particularly in the morning.

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