44 Comments
Mar 12, 2023Liked by We Are Scientists

I am as impressed here by the cogency of your reasoning as I am by the fastidiousness of your punctuation, which - in this and every WAS missive - is frankly impeccable. (You do miss one comma in the parenthetical, “though as discussed above, this appears unlikely” [sic], but I can only imagine you must have been writing at exhilarated speed.)

The only problem with trusting Bono’s sound judgement, I humbly venture, is his own unmistakable high regard for the rock band U2. Now, while not without significant contribution to the world’s store of valuable, albeit human-sanctioned, culture, this is a group of which we would expect a more rigorously critical assessment from someone we regard as a bona fide arbiter of this planet’s artistic achievement. So, who does that leave, if not Dolly Parton, The Mandalorian, or, indeed, The Lawnmower Man? Tilda Swinton is a perfectly acceptable substitute, I agree, and yet she’s no Cate Blanchett. Who is? I would suggest Cate Blanchett.

For she is the rose. And hers is the kiss.

Also, there’s a good chance that she would rightly select Ace of Bass over Seal.

Expand full comment
Mar 13, 2023Liked by We Are Scientists

You make a genuinely compelling argument for Bono here- but the forced album download on iPhone is too glaring an error to overlook, and ultimately calls his judgement into question too heavily for his word to be unimpeachable.

Instead, allow me to offer the following candidate:

•Twenty-nine years older than Bono

•A career spanning over seven decades; stage, screen, television, music and literature

•International icon status; also recognizable by a single name…and he’s been to space.

Shatner.

Expand full comment
Mar 13, 2023Liked by We Are Scientists

Having read this post and slept on it, I’ve come to the conclusion that it couldn’t be the responsibility of Bono (or anyone else for that matter) alone. But maybe you have a point and he is the correct leader for this...

But really is it up to anyone? Sure, the Daniels et al just took home a bunch of Oscars, but I’m pretty sure they’d already WON with Everything Everywhere All At Once without the approval of the academy. I suspect Seal already knows he’s won this 🦭

Expand full comment
Mar 12, 2023Liked by We Are Scientists

Honestly, I was going with Beyonce until the 51% less living factor was brought up. That was a close call for me, I'm back on team Bono.

Expand full comment
Mar 12, 2023Liked by We Are Scientists

Who amongst us cannot say that they would weigh the judgement of Tilda Swinton on matters artistic more greatly than that of Bono. A match on seriousness and humility, a superior on perspective and ingenuity.

Expand full comment

When considering Bono you seem to have failed to consider his band mate, The Edge. A man of similar age and experiences, but who has shown better taste in choosing his stage name. He'll still choose Seal, obviously.

Expand full comment

You make a strong case which I feel unable to contest (at least at this point on a Sunday night). Also, this:

“But even a generous assessment of these abstract works in red ochre must ultimately allow for their inferiority to the oeuvre of singer-songwriter-producer Seal.”

is definitely the funniest sentence I’ve read today. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Expand full comment

We forgot someone. Bill Nighy.

Expand full comment

Sting

-just as pretentious

-single name as well

-older than Bono

-has an acting career

-known activist

-he's an englishman, far easier to persuade others when it comes from a man with an English accent rather than an Irish accent

-has convinced people to come to his 2023 shows despite naming his tour "My Songs"....no work went into that.

U2 had Apple download their album into Apple users phones without their permission. Resulted in anger and bad press.

-The Police were entered into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before U2

Expand full comment

I think there's an argument for Jeff Fahey from The Lawnmower Man

Expand full comment

Bono already thinks he is the greatest artist of all time and so this just won’t work

Expand full comment

Alas, we finally disagree on something.

I simply wouldn’t trust Bono’s opinion on the matter, and as I don’t want to be mean I’ll keep my reasons to myself.

For an alternative artist with all of Bono’s finest qualities as described here, may I chuck Pedro Pascal’s name in for consideration?

Or perhaps it shouldn’t be left to just one person to decide?

Not to mention that such statement “x person is the greatest artist of all time” it’s simply impossible to answer as we haven’t seen all time yet!

Expand full comment

This is really one to be decided by

Ron Clontle, author of Rock, Rot, & Rule

Expand full comment

Even if Bono were to pick the ‘greatest artist of all time’ he wouldn’t pick someone who would play a gig in Chechnya for their President Ramzan Kadyrov, and refusing to apologise for it.

Expand full comment