TV EN FRANÇAIS, Édition Deluxe (10th Anniversary)

Own A Piece of History 🗿🏷️

[→shortcut to merch for illiterates: 🎁]

We’ve got the goods. Wanna see? They’re in this bag.

“Do all the goods fit into that bag?” you ask — “Doesn’t look like very many goods.” At first, opening an email about products and how to use money, you were probably thrilled. Now, you’ve had a good look at the bag, and you’re reassessing. The excitement is going out of you. It’s leaking like air out of a knife-stuck tire:

Well, it’s time to reassess your reassessment. That bag is a lot bigger than you think it is. Because Chris is a lot bigger than you think he is, and so is Keith. Here’s that same photo zoomed out a little bit:

In this crop, you can see our friend Chris Pratt. He was on set helping with the photo shoot. He really likes us, and kept getting too close, wanting to touch. Not a problem normally, but he ruined a lot of photos! The point is this: Chris Pratt is 6-foot-two. And yet we TOWER over him. He’s our funny little friend, our funny little guy that we pick up like a baby in our arms.

So, knowing that this bag looks like it could actually hold all 6-foot-two–220-pounds of Chris Pratt — at least his forty-pound head — what kinda goods you think we’ve got in it??? 🤗

These ones:

If you don’t trust what your eyes are telling you, we’ll spell it out: There is a double vinyl, in two different color variations; there is a CD with some kind of new cover art; there is a cassette tape; there is a keychain; there is a zine; and there is a reprint of the original tea towel and the original gator t-shirt, with the latter now available in sophisticated ‘gator’s tooth’ (almost white).

Most of that’s self-explanatory, but the music objects can be confusing — that’s by design. Our enemies must be kept guessing.

Here’s how it breaks down: The 2xLP has the songs of TV en Français, plus TV en Français: Sous la Mer, aaaand orphan babies “Good Answer,” “Distillery,” “Something About You,” “Let Me Win,” and “Take My Breath Away” (a cover). It comes in color combinations we call Ocean Plate and Veggie Plate.

The CD — Les Restes, it’s called — has everything except the original TV en Français album.

And the cassette tape has only the original TV en Français album.

This chart breaks it down:

The t-shirt? The tea towel? Classics in their own time. The keychain? Proof that you visited, and survived, the Dumb Luck Motel (or took the keychain off the body of someone who visited). And the zine, Contents? We’ll discuss it further in a coming post, but you can expect a zine-ish mélange of photos, lyrics, prose, poetry, pictograms, and video stills.

May 10th

That’s when this thing drops, this collection of things. Mark your calendar. Put lipstick on your gator and press his face against the calendar so it makes a little 💋right on May 10th. In the meantime, if you’re able, please pre-order so we know how much to make. We’re going to aim small with these printings (and stampings and screenings) with the goal of selling it all, so we don’t have to keep leftovers in the hold of our airboat.

You’ll also find more descriptions of the products at that link — some more trenchant, some more desultory. You’re rolling the dice. In any case, that’s the button to push if you want to place an order.

We’ll be back in a few days.

🐊