GREAT APES: ❤️ Of The Matter

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Hey, Descenders. Chris typing here. Happy Sunday. How has your weekend been so far? See any good movies? Catch any great concerts? Drive your car off any nice jumps? Solve any cold cases? Let us know in the comments, especially if you solved a cold case! We love when Justice comes toddling into town on an elderly mule years after you thought she had fallen off a mesa.

Today we have the first entry into what will perhaps become a recurring feature of S.D.I.R., “What Exactly Is Covered.” These’ll be off-the-cuff covers of songs we like (and hey, maybe a few we think really suck), delivered without much adornment, along the lines of what you might get if you came over to one of our apartments and got us pretty drunk. Take a listen, and let us know in the comments whether you like this sort of thing. (Lyrics are printed below to help you sing along.)

Actually, I’m really excited about today’s song, Heart of the Matter, by Sir Don Henley (guy’s a knight, right?). This was a big hit, and still gets played on certain radio stations, but I guarantee no one has heard H.O.T.M. as many times as I have. That’s because if you’re around Keith Murray and he gets within 20 feet of a guitar, you’re going to hear H.O.T.M. Since I’ve been touring with him for years, and since we always have guitars nearby, I’ve heard this song, conservatively, 10,000 times.

I mean, he was playing it when I met him back in college, but there wasn’t always a guitar on hand, so the depth of his compulsion wasn’t apparent. I bet his parents have heard H.O.T.M. even more times than I have — teenage boys who are obsessed with guitar can get pretty repetitive when they find a song they like. Why, I bet Mick & Tina have heard H.O.T.M. 100,000 times.
Anyway, I’m still not sick of it. The kid does a great version. Sounds like on this recording he gave himself a second guitar track to play a little lead. Nice touch. Actually, let’s see if he wants to add any more context. Keith?

Keith: I guess I don’t really know what you’re talking about. I’ve never played this song in my life. Or any Don Henley song, even. Was Don Henley in the Eagles? We did Hotel California live on tour with Art Brut in like 2006, but I haven’t even thought about Don Henley(sp?) since then, until literally two days ago when you suggested I cover this song for the substack. I had to look up the lyrics and learn the chords as I went.

Chris: It seems like we remember some of this stuff pretty differently. That’s a fascinating quality of memory — the subjectivity of it. Malcolm Gladwell talks about the flashbulb memory effect, where major events or emotionally significant circumstances cause a durable memory to form, which although extremely vivid is actually susceptible to quite a bit of error. It seems like that’s what’s happening with you here.

Keith: But it’s not like I just don’t remember how we decided that I would cover this song. I didn’t know how to play this song before yesterday. It would never have occurred to me to play this song, for any reason.  I couldn’t have possibly told you a single word of the lyrics other than that “I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter” bit and the “even if, even if” part, and when I looked the rest up yesterday, it wasn’t like I thought, “Oh, right, that’s what they are.” I thought, “Okay, here are some lyrics I’ve never actually noticed or heard, much less, like, sung aloud, hanging around the dorms in college.” Like, what on earth are you even talking about?

Chris: Wow, it sounds like in addition to the substantial memory perversions you may also be suffering from a mild form of what professional athletes call “the yips.” That’s when a person finds themself suddenly unable to perform a highly specialized task or movement in which they’ve previously attained high proficiency. I think it happens most commonly to golfers. They just walk up to the tee one day, and can’t for the life of them remember how to swing a club. Their body, quite mysteriously, has lost this skill that it spent years and years perfecting, and often the only solution is to start relearning their golf swing right from the top, as though they were a beginner. It’s tragic, and poorly understood, I’m afraid to tell you. Although it sounds like you have a pretty mild case — man, some of that lead guitar on the recording really rips! 

Keith: But, wait. When a golfer gets the yips, does he forget that he EVER played golf? Like, does he walk up and say, “I’m familiar with this game and the putts or whatever, but I’ve never actually played it until today, despite the fact that I must have in order to qualify for this tournament I’m in?” I don’t think so. You’re suggesting that my yips have blocked not only my memory of HOW to play Heart Of The Matter, but the very FACT of my ever having played it even once, much less your proposed 10,000 times? I mean, shit, according to your venerated Malcolm Gladwell, those 10,000 times should qualify me as an EXPERT. An EXPERT! One of us has what can only be diagnosed as a pretty significant neurological disorder, I’d say. Like, I remember playing lots of songs — Toad The Wet Sprocket’s All I Want, 311’s Amber, Sade’s Smooth Operator, but the fact that I would have to relearn them today doesn’t mean I would also have to be reminded that I ever knew how to play them. What the hell are you talking about?! What the HELL?!

Chris: Aaaaaaanyway, it’s a great cut from D-Hen’s classic album End of the Innocence, and Keith, you’ve done it proud (yet again!). For anybody at home who wants to sing along but doesn’t know all the lyrics, I transcribed them below. But first, here’s a button to subscribe to Slow Descent Into Radness if you haven’t already, or to upgrade your free subscription to paid (which right now just means you throwing away money so Keith and I can have more beer (which, writing that aloud, actually sounds pretty laudable)). Thanks for reading & listening — we’ll be back TOMORROW with some exciting news.

"The Heart of the Matter" by Sir Donald Henley

Hi, got the call today 
I didn’t wanna hear? 
But I knew that it were come
No true friend of ours
was talkin’ on the phone?
She’s Ed, you found someone
An’ I balled up all the bad luck
It’s struggles we went through?
In Ohio, lost me
In the U, lost you
Water all these voices
I’d sign love’s open door
Mistress threw apart contentment
And Beck for somethin’ more

But I’m learnin’ to live with achoo now
But I Miss you some times
Gomorrah, I know 
Les, I understand 
Are the things I thought I knew
I’m learning again

I been tryna get down
to the hot of the manna
My Will gets weak
and my thots seem distracted 
but I think it’s a bow
Forgive, Miss
Forvive, Miss
Even if, even if
You don’t love meat anymore

Whoa, these Toms are so uncertain
There’s a huron under fire
And a feeple(?) filled with rage
We are kneed with little tenderness
How can love survive
in such a grassy sage
Oh, our trust and stuff insurance
that lead to happy Ness
Let ‘em bury Vic 
We kill our guests
Oh, fried in competition
Can outbuild these empty alms
And the workout put between us
Ya know a dozen keep me warm

I’m learnin’ to lift with achoo noun
Butter Miss you, baby
Gomorrah, I know
Les, I understand
Are the things I thought I’d figure doubt
I have Toulernequin 

I been tryna get down
to the hot of the manna
But Everett bring changes 
and my France seem ta scatter
but I think it’s a bow
Forgive, Miss
Forvive, Miss
Even if, even if
You don’t love me any mower

They’re all people in your life
who cumin gon’
let you down
You they hurt so, fried
Ba-boola-bah Ba-hanja-baby
A lot goes on
Kim carryin’ that anchor
He’ll each chew up in sigh

I been tryna get down
to the hot of the manna
My Will gets wheat
and my thots seem distracted 
but I think it’s a bow
Forgive, Miss
Forvive, Miss
Even if, even if
You don’t love meat 
I been tryna get down
to the hot of the manna
Because The Flash will get wheat
And the ash is what scatter
So I’m thinkin’ a bow
Forgive, Miss
Forvive, Miss
Even if, even if
You don’t love meat 
Forgive, Miss
Forvive, Miss
Forgive, Miss
Forvive, Miss
Forgive, Miss
Forgive, Miss
Even if, even if
You don’t love meat anymore